We just knew we were supposed to love this little one as best as we could from afar. The kids seem satisfied to do that. Are we adopting this child? I honestly don't know for sure, but we will keep you posted on that. A lot has changed since we started this journey and if we are certain of one thing it is this; there is no certainty! I have seen adoptions fail, hearts break, children die. Recent changes in adoption laws say that it will be AT LEAST a year before we can bring anyone home, but these laws seem to change with the wind, so who knows? How do we go on with this process with so much uncertainty? Because we want to and we can't not keep going forward. Not because it is our duty, but because it is our privilege. Because we believe the human life and spirit is the best investment. If we never bring a child home, we will know that it was not all for nothing. We made a difference in this little life. We recently were presented with a choice to possibly switch country programs. Sort of a last chance to recover financially before going all in in such an unstable program. We both said absolutely not, without hesitation. We know where we were called for this time and season.We have changed in this process. Things that used to matter don't now. Our world is bigger and more meaningful. Our lives are richer in all the ways that matter. I have reached a point where my arms are raised and I am free falling, trusting that He will catch me. I recently discovered a beautiful song (my anthem these days) that says,
"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior"
At the risk of sounding like a fool, I can tell you that my faith has indeed been made stronger and I have been taken deeper than my little feet could ever wander on their own. My prayers changed from asking for the children I had in the perfect picture of my family, to asking God to lead me the children that He has for us and beyond that, to reveal to me how I can continue to make a difference for "the least of these" and we are working on big, exciting things to discover what that will look like in the future.
Please keep this little one we call "Peanut" in your prayers and thank you for loving and supporting our family!
So so beautifully said, as always!!! Praying with you and hoping and trusting, as well!!! Love you!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Jenny! Your prayers and friendship mean so much!
Deletesweet baby! and I know "we can't *not* keeping going forward" so well. trusting God with you! (ps. thanks for joining my Adoption Month link up!)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Natalie!
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