Friday, September 13, 2013

Love And Loss: The Waiting Mother's Worst Fear Is Also One Reason We Care

I do not personally know the family so heavy on my heart today, I have only read their blog about the adoption of their precious son in Ethiopia. I do know the fear. The fear that wakes you in the middle of the night, that takes your breath away. When medical reports are scary, when the emails and phone calls and photos from the adoption agency are not frequent enough. I know the paralyzing numbness that begins to take root when you feel like you just might break if someone doesn't reassure you that he's ok. When they aren't eating enough. When their little bodies look more like a tiny elderly man, instead of a bouncing baby boy. When they might need surgery, therapy, medications.

International adoption is often criticized and scrutinized. I've even heard it called "unnatural" for a child to be raised outside of their culture, outside of their birth country. I've heard adoptive parents called selfish, arrogant, holier than thou, because how dare they scoop that poor child out of Africa, or South America, or China, or whatever their birth county happens to be, so that they can satisfy their "savior complexes", or their "white guilt?" I have heard parents scoffed at for wanting to adopt an infant, or a girl, or an older child, or siblings, or teens, or  a child with special needs.  And some of us really should know better.  I am so sick of parents that have adopted and saying, "Well, it was great for our family, but you shouldn't do it. We must step off of this adoption train and simply focus on reunification. You should consider sponsoring a child instead."  I call BS. The reason that the majority of families that have chosen international adoption chose to do so, is because for many, many, children, adoption is their ONLY CHANCE AT LIFE. At the very least, their only chance for a family.  And they ALL count. They ALL matter. They ALL deserve a chance.

It sickens me to think that if this system wasn't so broken, this precious son named Cruz would have been safe in his mother's arms. That the first time she held him, maybe he would still have a heartbeat. Instead, he waited. They waited. Cruz lost his life, waiting. And now this family is headed to Ethiopia, where they will lay their son to rest. I wish I could offer some practical solutions, but I'm just a mom with room in her heart and home for more children. I pray for their protection while they wait. In a perfect world, there would be no orphans, but here on planet earth, it is a very real circumstance that these children face every day. Not enough love, not enough food, not enough medicine, not enough time to make it. For those of you that live in the land of plenty, please, do what you can. I will leave you with two opportunities to make a difference. Read their stories. Let them break your hearts.

You can offer your condolences and make a donation to the Besk family, by visiting their blog here.

You can also help baby Joshua.
"Joshua is a sweet baby boy in Congo estimated to be 3-6 months old who was found in late July abandoned, malnourished, and dying weighing under 2 lbs. He is a fighter and is fighting daily to stay alive."
Baby Joshua in on the way to the US for emergency medical intervention. I am praying he makes it. He matters.

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