10. You are constantly asking people to forgive you for missing that play date/appointment/meeting/meal(sorry kids!) You have adoption induced jello brain.
9. You know more about the US immigration system than any US born citizen should know. USCIS is on speed dial and you tape jolly ranchers and smiley face stickers to your immigration forms. (no you don’t)(yes I do).
8. You know the difference between an I600 and an I600A and you are really proud of yourself about that. You are pretty sure you could write a guidebook about international adoption now. Psshh.
7. Your friends are blocking you left and right on social media sites. They’ve had enough of the orphan talk and would really appreciate it if you would just post a picture of a kitten, or an “I Hate Mondays” card, or a pinterest project like a normal person. Or stand up for something that REALLY MATTERS, like Abercrombie and Fitch discrimination. Oh, the horror.
6. You find nothing odd whatsoever about signing a petition on change.org demanding Ergo baby products make a front carrier that you can stuff your 5 year old into when the time comes. What?! Don’t judge me!
5. Mother’s Day seriously bums you out. For reals. Stupid hallmark and their stupid made up holidays. It’s all about money anyway… until all of your kids are under one roof and then you’re all “Woohoo! Mother’s Day is the BEST!” :P
4. You belong to one or more “secret” facebook groups for adopting moms. They are SO
b*tchy informative! You
add and remove yourself from said groups, depending on how unstable cray cray sensitive you are on that given day and how
much crazy information you can deal with at the moment.
3. Little brown babies at walmart/school/Cheerio commercials evoke tears. You resist the urge to ask the mother at the park what her preferred hair products are and the sacker at the grocery store what it’s like to be raised as a man of color in our community. They see you staring. Crazy white lady.
2. You have gained
15 12 5
pounds from comfort food and late night glasses of wine that you ingested while
either stalking stranger’s facebook pages or watching the documentary STUCK for
the fourteenth time. Have you seen STUCK? You should really watch STUCK.
STUCKity STUCK STUCK.
1. You realize you only ever half-way exhale. Your pillow is stained with tears from mourning the time lost with children, their dissipating childhood, and their big hurts. Most days you look and feel like a mental patient, but you know you’re not alone because this amazing, ever-expanding network of mothers that “get it” are right there with you, or were at one time, and every time you think you might break, some angel sends you a text, or a facebook message, or a good old fashioned phone call, or an invitation to dinner or lunch or coffee. Or better yet, you see the face of a child that made it home. He’s got some kinks to work out, but he’s home, and you are reminded that this beautiful mess called adoption that you are pouring your heart and soul and hopes and money into is WORTH IT, and you are not alone.