Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Top Ten Signs You Are A Waiting, Internationally Adopting, Mom


 

10. You are constantly asking people to forgive you for missing that play date/appointment/meeting/meal(sorry kids!) You have adoption induced jello brain.

9. You know more about the US immigration system than any US born citizen should know. USCIS is on speed dial and you tape jolly ranchers and smiley face stickers to your immigration forms. (no you don’t)(yes I do).

8. You know the difference between an I600 and an I600A and you are really proud of yourself about that. You are pretty sure you could write a guidebook about international adoption now. Psshh.

7. Your friends are blocking you left and right on social media sites. They’ve had enough of the orphan talk and would really appreciate it if you would just post a picture of a kitten, or an “I Hate Mondays” card, or a pinterest project like a normal person. Or stand up for something that REALLY MATTERS, like Abercrombie and Fitch discrimination. Oh, the horror.

6. You find nothing odd whatsoever about signing a petition on change.org demanding Ergo baby products make a front carrier that you can stuff your 5 year old into when the time comes. What?! Don’t judge me!

5. Mother’s Day seriously bums you out. For reals. Stupid hallmark and their stupid made up holidays. It’s all about money  anyway… until all of your kids are under one roof and then you’re all “Woohoo! Mother’s Day is the BEST!” :P

4. You belong to one or more “secret” facebook groups for adopting moms. They are SO b*tchy informative! You add and remove yourself from said groups, depending on how unstable  cray cray  sensitive you are on that given day and how much crazy information you can deal with at the moment.

3. Little brown babies at walmart/school/Cheerio commercials evoke tears. You resist the urge to ask the mother at the park what her preferred hair products are and the sacker at the grocery store what it’s like to be raised as a man of color in our community. They see you staring. Crazy white lady.

2. You have gained 15 12 5 pounds from comfort food and late night glasses of wine that you ingested while either stalking stranger’s facebook pages or watching the documentary STUCK for the fourteenth time. Have you seen STUCK? You should really watch STUCK. STUCKity STUCK STUCK.

1. You realize you only ever half-way exhale. Your pillow is stained with tears from mourning the time lost with children, their dissipating childhood, and their big hurts. Most days you look and feel like a mental patient, but you know you’re not alone because this amazing, ever-expanding network of mothers that “get it” are right there with you, or were at one time, and every time you think you  might break, some angel sends you a text, or a facebook message, or a good old fashioned phone call, or an invitation to dinner or lunch or coffee. Or better yet, you see the face of a child that made it home. He’s got some kinks to work out, but he’s home, and you are reminded that this beautiful mess called adoption that you are pouring your heart and soul and hopes and money into is WORTH IT, and you are not alone.

27 comments:

  1. Sounds about right. Welcome to the club;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In great company, Sara! Y'all all go read Sara's blog, but I'm warning you, her boys will give you baby fever something fierce!

      Delete
  2. Love this. I am a part of this club and I am the crazy lady half of the time... but it is TOTALLY worth it as I see my sweet friend hug her kids that are finally home!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Replies
    1. Thanks for reading and for commenting, Amanda.

      Delete
  4. Third time around...still in the same place. So perfectly written! Yes, I am a little crazy...most of the time!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Third time?! You are an adoption rock-star. Rock. On. :)

      Delete
  5. Amazing and RIGHT ON!!! I was gonna say I love #7, but they are all so incredibly perfect!!! Thank you for sharing :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right there with you! Thanks for reading and commenting!

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. Thank you, sweet friend! I shall never ever block you on facebook. This is my promise to you.

      Delete
  7. totally totally right!!!!!! especially #3 for me :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 3 is getting to be a bit ridiculous around here. What is up with that?! Crazy adoption hormones, I say.

      Delete
  8. Awesome post! So glad you joined the blog hop and I got a link to it. It made me LOL several times.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Tessy! I had a little trouble with that. Glad it worked! I'm not so savvy in regards to the interwebs. Y'all go read Tessy's blog too! http://divinemomentstlf.blogspot.com/

      Delete
  9. Sweet way to add humor to some pain and longing! Good job♥

    ReplyDelete
  10. Have you been watching me? You must have! This is exactly what I am like!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh my gosh, its like you read my mind. Waiting on 4 boys here and my pillow has lots of tear stains.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Looks like I will proably be the only guy posting, and that's only because my wife forwards me all these different blog posts to read :) Gotta say that you pretty much nailed the "Top 10" list! Also want to add that us men have feelings too.....we just don't show them as often but we long for the big "Homecoming" day just as much and we are thankful that you all have nudged us along in this adoption journey!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right on, Joey! You make a great point. The title could say "parent" rather than "mom." Hang in there, dad!

      Delete
  13. #3 - that's us with the hair thing

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh, I am SO GLAD I am not alone!! Thank you so much for writing out my own craziness for me! :)

    ReplyDelete