Bear with me, readers. This is the first of a series of love letters that I will be writing to our future child. I think in letters, poems, and scripts. Sometimes I have to get it out. I hope these letters will some day remind our child what they mean to us, when times are hard and they wonder...
My Dearest Child,
Your Daddy and I and your sister and brother sure do love you! We talk about you every day. Our prayers for you are constant in our minds and whispered throughout our days. Everything seems to remind us of you. We think about our first time to hold you. Our first time to kiss your scraped knee, to make chocolate chip cookies! To play in the snow, or sink our toes into the sand with you. To collect treasures together in the forest and count the birds that visit us on the deck or the foxes that bring their babies to say hello on early spring mornings. We can't wait to read you bedtime stories, and cuddle with you in our pajamas for Saturday morning cartoons. Oh how we long for the day that we can see your face!
We wonder where you are and if you are well. We hope that you are not scared or lonely, but we realize you most likely are. Some people worry that because you are waiting for your family, that you may have hurts (they call them problems) that are too big for us. They use lots of letters and official words to describe your broken heart. I wonder if they know how very imperfect they are? I wonder if they realize that their heart has been broken too, or that they have broken someone's heart before? Let me tell you something baby, Mommy and Daddy don't love you because you are perfect. We love you because there are tiny, you-shaped holes in our hearts where you belong. We love you because God made you, and baby, He doesn't make mistakes. If your body is broken, we will love you. If your little spirit is broken, we will love you EXTRA. You see, we are all broken in some way, baby. Not one of us is whole and perfect, we are all beautifully imperfect!
One day, you and I will sit together in a field. I will take your little hand and place in it a flower. It may look perfect on the outside, but if you look close you may see that the petals are torn or tattered. Maybe an ant has made his lunch of its stem. It may have thorns. It may be wilting because it is too hot, too cold, or thirsty. Is it any less beautiful? Should we throw it out? No. We give it some shade, or a little sun, or a drink of water. We don't love you because you are perfect, baby. We all have scars. If your scars are deep, our love is deeper. This is just how mommies and daddies love their babies. We love them no matter what! We love YOU, no matter what.